When things don't fit!!

It's crunch time & I'm meant to be getting ready for work, BUT nothing fits!!! I have no clothes literally to wear to work because I'm too fat to fit anything. I don't fit my life anymore and it hurts. Like to the core of me hurts! I've let myself go to such extremes that I don't recognize me anymore. I've never had to worry about what I wear or if I had clothes but today...nothing. It's all too small and the things I know I can fit are the things I ALWAYS wear. How can anyone potentially take me serious dressing in comfy clothes to deter from the fact I'm fat. Well reality check lady, you are fat AND no one takes you serious. People look to me for answers but I can't look to myself for the inner strength. I love food, it sabotages my best intentions everyday to be healthy and eat to survive. Instead I'm surviving to eat. Skinny people telling me how to lose weight or judging what I'm lacking or don't have that's made me fat. Well eff you quiet frankly..I'm not diabetic and my blood, sugar and cholesterol levels are all normal so don't assume I'm health risk walking when you see me. Considering I weigh at the top end of 169kg, I carry myself better than most. I'm actively managing my exercise with daily power walks/ pram in hand and feeling every bit as healthy as the skinny person. But today is the mother of all days. The kick in the face that's just woken me up to how much I'm cheating myself into the fat life. Ive put goals and effort in to making myself fat. I've designed my life around being fat and now I have to undo it all, all of it. Unravel the big ball of mess I've created.