A year on and fatter

It's been over a year since I..yep did nothing and in fact I've gained weight. What the heck! I'm not surprised as I've been nothing but a lazy moo and it hasn't quiet sunk in. I want everything to be instantly fixed like my weight and having babies, yet I'm stuck wearing the fat suit STILL! I lost all motivation to motivate myself, maybe a few weeks was my lot then it was over. What does it really take to help a super obese person realize? Realize that your eating your way to death and soon your body will say "stuff you mate" I'm packing it in! Death while very real at this weight, still hasn't convinced me to put it down and get off it! I'm searching deep for motivation but I cant find any, it's left me. I'm an addict to food and an addict to being fat. I obviously love this look. Stupid yet true. I would be happy with a 30kg Weightloss but first I need to move, get active and stop procrastinating! So I've read over previous blogs and I'm happy to say I'm quiet the motivator and it's given me a starting point again. My thinking was so motivating then, that I'm going to follow my own advice starting tomorrow oh I mean now! It's 10:38am and I'm in bed, with a sore back thinking about all the things I have to do OUT THERE. I have to leave the house and get off my butt. Can someone kick it really! I need to move! Move ffs, get off your fat ass and effing MOVE!!! Rarerrer :) going now!