Teaching

While what I'm learning from this lesson is something I didn't want to have to, I'm finding its what I have to learn to excel past where I am. It's guided me to slow down, to actually undo the burdens of life and slow down. Be still for God and accept what he's teaching me, showing me and helping me achieve in life.  I love it lord, that despite what I wanted to do, you curved me elsewhere.  I need help in my tithing lord, help to understand and commit to tithing.  I need help in transport too lord, I need to get to our house to sit under the words of our Pastors.  Please lord help us somehow.

Food Testing

I've been consuming different foods and taking into account how my body feels. I've been eating a full fat low carb diet which I found actually reduced my lactose intolerance. I think that when you eat the rubbish food with dairy, then it reacts by rejecting the good things. I'm not meaning milk with the blue tops, im talking full fat stuff, no reduced fat anything and I've felt better. Significantly better, coupled with my moving rooms which was riddled in mould spores making me ill constantly.  I've been breathing new life and feeling energetic and I love it. No breads! No carbs if I can help it and if I do, it's only minimal. I know when I've gone overboard on white carbs because I urinate more, due to the diabetes. BUT when I had stuffing yesterday, I didn't have that reaction. So I ate shit loads of sugar and I'm waiting for the effects, I'm thinking it's going to be slow on me and go pow!  I've been having some stomach issues so need a liver juicing tonic to detox it. Watch this space!

I can breath

There's a spring in my step today, except I'm sitting here scoffing on potato chips 😳😳 yesterday I explored my options so it's back to the drawing board, finances permitting. I don't feel lethargic in any way, just a bit sad but in all the best I've felt in a very long time. I have a don't give two shits attitude and I'm angry but body wise I feel well and back to my normal self. Not tired or aching✊🏼✊🏼. So after I've devoured this packet and I'm not gonna lie I will eat them all, I wonder how different I'll feel. My diet yesterday consisted of half a bar of coconut rough chocy and Chinese food mixture last night.  As opposed to eating a takeaway meal with potatoes and a burger (which I'm craving and will probably have shortly) so consider this an experiment lol, cop out talk that is. 

Still fat yo!

Still fat and still actively finding excuses for it, yet still unmotivated. Despite being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Yet I knew that was going to happen years ago in fact and still I carried I with my excessive lifestyle of carbs and sedentary sitting.  I'm on the chia seeds that curb your hunger, I actually went through a non eating phase before New Years. Thanks to be crook as with diarrhoea that the thought of consuming anything scared me. Today I'm not closer to my weight goals, which are not in the scales department. But the clothes department. When I'm able to fit into a size down, I'm winning. How I get there is the question! I also started smoking and I've applied to have public funded Bariatric surgery, which I'm still waiting for confirmation of. I don't care if it's the cheats way, at my age this exercise stuff feels berating. In a small town where judgement rules, I would rather stay indoors. Death is possible, I'm not going to rule that out. 

Listen

Not to the song either but to your body and what it's telling you. After eating certain foods, how is your body reacting? This has been my altered way of eating lately, which eliminates a nasty bout of the runs (sorry TMI) Chinese food from this one particular shop here in Dargaville does it every time, yet I still eat it (head vs brick wall) I only ever order a battered fish, stir fry vegetables, sweet and sour pork and it comes with a wonton and dipping sauce with a corn and chicken soup and glass of raro (powdered drink mix) I don't eat the soup because it has egg in it. Lesson learned it's upset my stomach before and it's now a no go zone. Gluten happens to be the culprit in this instance, especially when foods cause an out of character effect to your body. So how do we know what contains gluten and what doesn't? We don't really, as there are no signs to tell us otherwise what is and what isn't. Unless of course it says gluten free, however gluten free in manufacturing terms does not mean completely gluten free! 

Carbed Up and Rant Ridden

So last night I carved up the carbs in my mouth quiet easily. I had been craving those sweet junk filled foods for such a long time and now I've tasted them, I'm good! No harm done except the harm on my stomach that threw a wobbly and cramped me up good and proper. Worth it? Yes I'm not going lie but it was! Now it's out of my system I'm good to go. Which brings me to the subject of family who piss you off. Accuse me of stealing thin lizzy, iPod ear buds and make up! Ah no, no thank you I buy exclusive to a brand not available in NZ - you people make me sick with your using clairvoyants to invade a persons privacy and think your safe behind them while they're lying out there own teeth! Karma is yours when you point out someone else's! Rant over 

Facebook rarrrr

When 2 people like your pretty inspirational post, makes for some depressing news! I love the gym, I love being there and even hearing people pushing themselves. While their trainers are motivating them for that one last burst of effort. I feel like putting in my ten cents worth but refrain, because I feel it's not my place. I don't like people interfering in my workout so my respect extends the same. Right knee is a tad achy but I'm okay. I'm feeling like I've accomplished so much today, that having 2 likes pisses me off, because no-one gets how this feeling is. More fuel for the motivation perhaps?